a dog became a Dwija

let the shastras say this or that,

i say that what we Brahmins utter,

become irrefutable truth,

most sacrosanct.

let him sprinkle a fistful of water of Ganga ,
and  lo, a lump of cow-dung  will turn into sacred prasad
and people will then scramble for that cow’s holy excreta.

even a beast can be tied with yagyopavit, that sacred thread
if it can be made to sing Gita

like the buffalo of  Saint Jnaneshwar.

if you can gift gold coins,
brahmins  candeclare shudra Shivaji

as kshatriya Shivaji Maharaj.

and the case of this Alsatian dog is uniquely different:
as he is a devoted Shudra dog

ever ready to serve his Nagpur Master 

he does not eat beef.

he relishes on the flesh of Yavans, Mlechchs  andchandals instead  --
all belonging to other religions or to non- religions.
if need be, he can howl shlokas from Manu’s book

or can bark the diktats from Kautilya’s economics
this faithful dog is our servant of sanatan dharma.
he is our all time swayamsevak
let him act as protector for cows

and us Brahmins.

i , Giga Bhatt in this august assembly of Brahmins ,

order therefore that you unleash him fully ,
perform his upanayan samskarawith all fanfare immediately

and leave him free to roam around  the Aryavart.

i declare him dwija,

no ,i declare him dwijottam, the best of dwija.    .
let the shastras say this or that,
it is what we vipra say become veda.
the ultimate truth and the only knowledge.

 
(poem inspired by a news item that a Shudra politician in  Gujarat, allegedly involved in post-Godhra  communal riot, was given sacred thread in a special ceremony)