Patel-ladu

(a big ball of sweetmeat made for the caste congregation of Patels)

Halvad Brahmins’ famed ladu is just a ladudi,

a small little ball of sweetmeat

before this Patel-ladu;

unfurling in the far away skies

the flag of Patel power

and claiming for the Guinness book record !

as if all Patel carts from India and abroad

gathered together at the Patel farm-yard.

soaked in sugar and ghee,

powdered in khaskhas and bits of dryfruits,

the darshan of the big big biggg mahaladu 

was a mouth watering scene

for Modiji’s 5 crore Gujaratis

and Togadiyaji’s 85 crore Hindus !

annadata, the grain-provider of the earth

and father of the whole world,

the farmer’s ladu would naturally be that large -- 

more than enough for all,

as was the Christ’s loaf !

remembering all, and forgetting none,

the prasad of Patel-ladu

was ready for distribution

in leaf-cups and leaf-dishes:

this is for London’s leuva Patel,

and this is for Canada’s kadva Patel.

this is for Africa’s anjana Patel,

and this is for Atarsumba’s amin Patel.

this is for Kaligam’s  kanabi Patel,

and this is for Karamsad’s kachhiya Patel.

that one  is for Keshardi’s koli Patel.

this is to Keshubhai Patel of Congress,

and this is to Narharibhai Amin of BJP.

this is for Dudhiya Dairy’s Desai-Patel,

and this is for Bagasara Jewelers’ Soni-Patel.

this is for Gandhinagar’s astrologer Joshi-Patel,

and this is for Safai Vidyalay’s principal Ishwarbhai paikhana-Patel.

this is to Baroda builder Manibhai mafia-Patel.

and this is to Visnagar Bank’s Somabhai  scam-Patel.

this is to Pravinbhai Patel of  Pij poultry farm,

and this is to Parbhudas Patel of Nirdosh Bidiwala.

this is to kidney merchant Dr K K K Patel, MSMD.

and this is to Swaminarayan XXX CD-wala Shri Shri Satsangibhai Patel.

the prasad of big big biggg Patel-ladu

was thus distributed among the big big big

Patel biradari of 35 lakh families.

and the outcastes eagerly waiting for the crumbs got impatient :

‘we are also Patels, why are we cast out ?’

they kept grumbling in each other’s ears.

i am the dashing Patel,

Ahmedbhai Bhikhaji Patel of Bharuch.

i am also Patel,

Sanjaan’s Sorabji Barjorji Patel.

i am Patel too.

pastor of Anand Orthodox Church

Rev Fr Silas George Pateliya.

i am Patel.

your son’s father-in-law

Otambhai Adiwasi Patel.

me too Patel,

Neerav Patel, the son of 26-Gam Nani Dashkoshi Rohit Samaj Patel,

late Shethshri Hirabhai Punjabhai Solanki.

i am also Patel.

Valmiki-Patel, daily sweeping the big ground of your Umiyamata.

i am Patel, and i can prove it :

i am brain-child of novelist Pannalal Patel,

born of the illicit love

of Kanji Patel and his barber beloved Jivi.

i am a Patel like you,

although i am neither a Mukhi nor a Matadar,

i have earned my title, busying myself

with the whole  village’spetty Patalailike you.

i am also Patel.

do you remember i was like you a Patidar

of 20- vigha farm side by side yours

till the Baniya’s book of debts took it away?

can you recollect,

Brahmin-Baniya would not take water from your pot

those days ?

remember, you survived that infamous ‘fifty-six’ famine 

eating at my hut dead cow’s mutton strings?

do you remember,

you had an old ‘Dholiyo’ ox, all skeletal

and i had an emaciated ‘Kaliyo’ ox, all bones,

and we ploughed our fields in sundhal, in partnership?

recall, we are all children of that Adam baba.

who made us all Patidars of this Pruthvi, the earth.

and remember,

there were no partitions of latitude and longitude on this planet

those days.

all inherited that earth.

we are all brethren : Patels and Patidars of this land.

don’t belittle the big name of your caste, dear Pateliya,

don’t diminish your caste by outcasting the rest of us human beings. 

ask for a handful of grains from each home,

and make Patel-ladu bigger than our globe

distribute its prasad to all.

all are Patels.

( inspired by a news item that Patels organized a grand function of caste solidarity at Surat

and all partook maha ladu prasad as a symbol of unity among their caste members.)