Deva, enjoy yourself :
here
is a social welfare fund
of
Rs. 10,00,00,000
and
you are its chairman.
here
is your car,
your chauffeur
and
your bungalow.
but
sir, i don’t know anything…..
oh
you are a fool,Deva.
what
is there to know about ?
don’t
you know the story of
two
cats and a monkey?
a
bite from here and a bite from there
and
the whole loaf is yours.
enjoy.
haven’t
you read that little black book of
Chairman
Baboon?
sir,
I read up to std. ii Gujarati
and
then dropped out…
and
have been engaged
in
the service of harijans since
Deva,
look…
power
comes either from the barrel of
the
gun
or
from the jingle of rupees.
and
people of this country are ungrateful idiots.
so
understand in the pinch :
even
if you are not elected next time
you
will not have to sail for Java
to
earn your livelihood;
as
your seven generations are safe now.
even
if you bury your treasures in the ground
somebody
may still steal it
but
your fortunes are sealed safe
in
the banks of Switzerland.
in
short, Deva
you
will have to shed your inferiority complex
see,
we are kings
and
all others are our subjects.
hold
darbar on holy days
and
invite friendly presswalas
and
distribute among
the
dalits,
the one
hundredth part of your gold-mohurs
and
people will praise for your benevolence
and
popularity will earn you earlypromotion :
want
to become social welfare minister
in
the next reshuffle ?
but
sir,
i
am moved by the miseries of the people…
stop
becoming sentimental, Deva.
these
poor people are lazy scoundrels.
forget
everything
and
wash out your dirty hands
in
the flowing ganga
as
everybody does in our country.
sail
windward, Deva,
and
worship the rising Son of India,
and
rejoice!
but
sir, this boiling unrest of the people…
don’t
be silly, Deva
if
a rally comes towards your mansion
you
need not get panicky.
you
need to simply blow whistle
putting
your two fingers in your mouth.
khaki-clad
musclemen will bounce them out
or
pick those agitating bastards
and
put them into different cess-pools :
some
in MISA (Maintenance of Internal Security Act)
some
in DIR (Defense of India Rule)
other
in NSA (National Security Act)
and
the rest in XYZ…
and
if some committed journalist
tries
to raise public awareness
blunt
his pen by censorship
and
these foolish dalit poets,
send
them behind bars under CPC section 251 and 253.
you
will have to be fearless and ruthless,
to
be a harijan Hitler
but
sir, service…
social
service…
service
of the poor and the persecuted…
yes Deva
yes,
the
same thing I tell you :
before
you serve anybody, you have to serve yourself
with
women and wine and…
you
know everything is fair in
love
and politics and…
but
take this gurumantra (mentor’s advice),
and
unfailing talisman :
forget
everything you may
but
don’t ever forget
to
pay your respects
to
the deity of Delhi
worship
her, chant her bhajans and pray her
for
all 25 hours of day and night.
night
and day.
if
she is pleased
none
can dethrone you from this haven,
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